Depression is hard. It is hard on the person and all those around him or her. It effects everyone. Friends and family are often left with wondering what to do. How to help. Do you go or do you push? I read something recently about how to help someone with depression and it dawned on me, people care and want to help. I decided to get real and share how it feels and what I want to say in these moments. Here it is…
I don’t want to see you, but I want you to reach out.
I don’t want to tell you what is happening, but I want you to know.
I don’t want to talk, but I need someone to listen.
I don’t want to get out of bed, but I want out of the house.
I don’t want you to see the real me, but I want you to love all of me.
I don’t know how to tell you, but I need to talk about it.
I don’t want your help, but I need help in so many ways.
It is a constant battle. I am thankful I have a friend who gets me. I would be lost without her. She calls, she stops by, she texts, even when I push her and everyone else away, she is there. She knows I need her but don’t want to need her. How lucky I am to have this precious and very special soul sister. I feel so much guilt about being that friend. But she loves me.
If you have a friend with a depression, the best advice I can give is BE THERE. Just be there. Even when she doesn’t want anyone around, because the truth is, she needs you. She may know it or be so lost that she doesn’t know it. But she needs to know someone cares no matter what. Someone will not judge. Someone will love her and want to be around her no matter what. Sometimes just to sit. Not to talk. Just sit together. Come over and watch a movie together.
She needs you but doesn’t know how to say that. She is too weak to ask for help but needs someone. And I know you don’t know what to say, but that is ok! She doesn’t either. Just be there! Get her out of the house, even if it is to run an errand. Bring her coffee. Show up with a new book. Just be there.
People are the medicine that we push away. People are what we need but don’t want. I have never had someone show up and love on me, that didn’t make me feel better after they did. It works. It is the best medicine.