Breaking up can be hard to do and if you have decided to go your separate ways and get divorced it doesn’t have to end acrimoniously.
If you are a couple that has simply grown apart or don’t want to be together anymore but remain on good terms with each other, there are ways you can get divorced amicably.
Here is a look at some of the key points to consider if you want to achieve a friendly divorce, including some top priorities such as creating a parenting plan, why money matters need to be fully discussed, and some pointers on how your life will change after you are divorced and what impact it will have on those outside the marriage.
Looking after the children
If you are going your separate ways in the most friendly way possible one of the most important aspects that need to be addressed and taken care of is how you will continue to parent your children as a divorced couple.
Creating a parenting plan is a priority with any divorce consultation and there are several things that you both have to agree on as the way to take care of your children once you are no longer under one roof.
You will need to agree on where the children will live after the divorce, make arrangements for how and when the kids will see each parent, and have a serious conversation about how the children’s lives will be financed in the future.
Talk about money
Money is always a critical subject in divorce discussions and it will be necessary to agree on how you will divide assets up and who will accept responsibility for other assets and savings that you have together.
If you can manage to agree on a financial framework that both parties are happy with this should be a major hurdle cleared on the path to getting divorced but still remaining friends with each other.
Keep your emotions in check
It is all too easy to say something in the heat of the moment and regret it afterward, especially when you are dealing with such an emotional situation like getting divorced.
You are likely to experience a great deal of emotional pain regardless of whether you are doing your best to divorce amicably and it will be a challenge to keep a lid on your emotions during this traumatic period in your life.
Try to control any feelings of anger or resentment that you might be feeling and remember that time is a great healer, meaning you will feel better about your relationship with your ex-partner in the future if you can keep your emotions in check during the divorce proceedings.
Take a positive view of legal intervention
Getting divorced can be a complicated business and even if you both agree to get divorced in the friendliest way possible it often makes sense to ensure that all aspects of your divorce are ratified by someone who knows how to put an agreement together that covers all the bases.
Using a lawyer to get everything sorted can make things easier and the courts are normally required to make everything legal, so you shouldn’t take a negative view of their intervention.
Be prepared to negotiate on assets
Another potential flashpoint in divorce negotiations is when you are discussing how your assets are going to be divided.
Aim to have a positive conversation with each other about who is going to take what form the house and how other assets are going to be divided. When you both take a non-combative stance, it can often be surprising how cordial the discussion can be.
Be prepared for changes in your social situation
One of the changes that can be difficult to contend with is how your divorce will affect your relationship with your circle of friends.
Don’t expect your friends to take any sides and try to deal with these adjustments in a mature way so that you can both move on and rebuild in the best way possible.
Get plenty of support
Going through a divorce is not easy whatever the circumstances and you will often need all the emotional and even financial support you can get.
Consider accepting the offers of emotional and financial support that come from family and friends, as this will ease the emotional pressure and can help keep things as amicable as possible.
Think carefully about each decision you make
Fighting over anything as important as finances or the children is often a surefire way of making it much harder to part on good terms.
Take the time to think carefully about how each decision you make during divorce negotiations will impact your future.
It is often a good idea to sleep on important questions before giving your final answer.
Be thankful for what you already have
It might sound a strange suggestion to express gratitude about what you already have and the life you have lead up to this point, but taking a positive view can put your divorce in a better light and will improve the odds of parting as good friends.
Always show good faith
It is never a good idea to withhold certain financial information or hide anything relevant when you going through a divorce.
Moving money out of an account or not disclosing everything you have is a risky game to play and if your actions are subsequently discovered it is not likely to help maintain a friendly atmosphere with your ex-partner.
Negotiate your divorce in good faith and practice full disclosure if you really want to ensure that your divorce is amicable and you remain on speaking terms after everything is concluded.
You can get divorced in a friendly way if you approach the task together in the right frame of mind and display the same element of trust and respect that was clearly felt for each other at some point in your relationship.
