Social Media and the internet are funny. They show you things they think you want to see or need to see based on an algorithm. This week I saw 5, yes FIVE, articles pop up about friends and happiness. Specifically for women. I caved and read them. Each one hit a nerve and by the 5th one I had to say something to all the ladies and girls out there like me.
The articles I read talked about women needing a circle of friends. “A girl tribe”. And to spend lots of time with them. They talked about girl getaways and weekly meet ups with your tribe. They talked about how it was essential for a happier life or mental health.
I struggled to come up with the title of this article. Because I am not against friends. Here’s the thing, friends are wonderful. They can be one of God’s greatest gifts. And I am not denying that research shows some people need friends and tribes and girlfriend getaways. But the key word is SOME people. I don’t think we all need a big circle or tribe to be happy.
My whole life I have had a very few close friends. I have lots and lots and lots of friends. But I would only consider a very few to be close friends. You know, those friends who really know you. The people who get you. Accept you. They know the good and bad and love you anyway. They are always there and just a call or text away. No explanations needed.
As a girl at my birthday parties, it was family and maybe 1 or 2 girlfriends. I’ve always had a very small circle.
I would call my “tribe” or circle of friends to be my family. They are the ones that have always known and loved me. My political views, religious views, my love of bright colors, my emotional highs and lows, my good habits, my mistakes. You know? All that stuff that you are scared for people to know about you. They are the people who make you laugh until you cry or just listen when you need to cry. They are mad at the people you are mad at. They tell you what you need to hear whether you want to or not.
My best friend is my husband. Some articles and experts would say “Oh no!” You need girlfriends outside of your marriage to talk about those things that girls talk about. Nope, not me. My husband is my best friend and I like it that way.
I have shared all this to say we all have our own unique ways of being happy. We all have our own people. You don’t need a certain number of friends. A certain type of friends. A certain number of getaways or coffee breaks. If you have one close friend or 10 close friends. that is ok! There is not a rule about how many you need or what kind of friends you need.
Maybe you have one best friend that you text with all the time. Maybe you have one best friend that you talk to when you need something or a couple times a year. Maybe you have that one friend that you grew up with and don’t talk to often but she would drop everything and run if you needed her. Maybe you have a big group of friends that you have a weekly rain or shine appointment with. Maybe you have work friends because you spend all your time with them. Maybe your people are your family. Maybe your best friend is your husband or wife. Whatever you have, that is ok!
To The Ladies Without A Tribe
So to all the ladies without a tribe. You keep being YOU. You keep loving your circle no matter how big or small. You keep doing what makes your heart happy. You don’t need more! You and your circle are perfect the way they are!
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