When was the last time you got to experience a family reunion? Have you noticed they’ve been on the decline? Well, family reunions used to be such a thing. Like, ask almost any adult, and there’s a decent chance there’s a memory floating around of being a kid at a reunion, running around some park, eating hot potato salad and hot dogs, and hearing grown-ups say do some catch up. It was honestly great, maybe a bit chaotic, but overall, it’s great, maybe chaotic, kinda funny, but totally normal.
Now, though, as an adult, when was the last time a real reunion happened? No, not a wedding, not a funeral, not a Christmas dinner party where the same few people rotate in (like your immediate family). But a full extended-family reunion with aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the random connections that somehow still count. It’s rare, right? Again, most adults now can only think back to when they were a kid, like when their grandparents and great-grandparents were still around.
But yeah, it’s rare. Life is busier, people live farther apart, and yeah, COVID didn’t exactly help. Well, on top of that, you can add social media to the mix, and there’s this weird illusion that everyone is “caught up” because a person saw a cousin post a baby picture last month. But seeing someone’s highlight reel is not the same as actually being in the same place and laughing together.
So, maybe it’s time to plan one, but how, especially with everyone being so busy?
Go Ahead and Decide What Kind of Reunion this Actually Is
Okay, so the first step here is to just, pick the reunion style, because that changes everything. How? Why? Well, some families do a one-day reunion with a picnic setup, food, and a schedule that’s loose enough for people to come and go. Other families do a weekend situation, especially if everyone is traveling, where there’s a main reunion day and then optional meetups around it. So, realistically speaking here, what’s actually going to help with your family? Yes, this includes extended too (if you know your extended family, as a lot of people don’t).
But it also helps to decide the energy level. Is this meant to be a chill catch-up where people can sit and talk, or is this meant to be more structured with games and activities? You really need to just consider here that the wrong format can make it feel stressful fast, especially if half the family just wants to relax and the other half wants a full itinerary.
Then there’s the Availability to Consider
While you can’t cater to everyone activity-wise at least, you do need to try and be realistic in timing. Well, aiming for one main gathering block that everyone can plan around. That could be Saturday afternoon to early evening, for example. Then anything else is optional.
It Needs to be a Location People Want to Show Up to
Which might sound a bit mean, but some people just won’t even bother showing up or RSVPing or whatever, if it’s not something they think will be worth it. Now, it makes total sense here that a park can be a perfect go-to, but it needs shade, bathrooms nearby, and enough parking that nobody has to hike in like it’s a nature expedition. Actually, a backyard can work too (like yours), but only if it’s not going to overwhelm the host. Hosting a reunion shouldn’t feel like becoming the unpaid event staff.
But if family is spread out, choosing a central location matters a lot; it’s usually that make it or break it thing. So a reunion doesn’t need the perfect scenic spot; it needs to be doable. Like it needs to have reasonable drive times, reasonable lodging nearby, and a location that accommodates older relatives, kids, and anyone with mobility needs.
But if you pick a park, for example, there either needs to be shelter (which some parks have that you can book in advance) or you can rent a spot on the lawn, and you can look into an affordable event rental company, even if it’s at your house, you could do something similar too. Some people will do the reunion at a restaurant or banquet hall, but this does cost more than everyone would want to spend.
Make the Food Plan Simple Enough
So, just above, restaurants were mentioned, so it’s a good time to bring up food now. So, those old-fashioned family reunions (where it was the Silent Generation hosting it) would have a potluck, or maybe it was also a BBQ at the same time (since this usually happened during the summer). And of course, catering can also be a good move if the budget allows it, because it removes so much stress.
But another option is keeping it casual with a taco bar, pizza, barbecue trays, or deli platters, basically anything that feeds a group without needing constant attention. But of course, this means you either need to pay for this as the host or you’re going to have to try and get family members to pitch in and pay, and depending on your family, this could potentially cause tension.
Make it Easy for People to Say Yes
Which is the main goal here? Because one thing people will say, no matter how many months you state this in advance, you’re going to get the “We’re busy”, “ I’m busy”, “I’m working’, “We might be busy during that time”. Not saying that these are excuses, but you can pretty much expect these, though. But yes, sometimes people skip family reunions because they just flat out don’t care, but you know what? That’s on them! That’s their mistake!
But for everyone else who is interested, well, you just need to make it easy enough to get a yes out of them. It’s usually just basic things like clear communication, like a simple invite with the date, time block, location, what to bring, and what’s provided. It’s honestly a good idea to have a clear RSVP deadline. Maybe even a clear contact person (you if you’re hosting it). So, if people feel like they can show up without stress, they’re more likely to come.
