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Divorce and children: How to help your kids cope with the changes

broken heart cardboard on brown wooden table top

The divorce process is a difficult time for everyone involved, particularly children. During this emotional upheaval and change, ensuring that your child’s needs are met, and their well-being is considered is essential. 

The best tips on how to help your kids cope with divorce

Here are some excellent tips on how to help your kids cope with the changes brought about by divorce:

Involve your kids in the decision-making

Try to keep them informed of any decisions that will affect their lives, such as who they will be living with, what school they will attend, or other matters related to the divorce settlement. You can empower them during this challenging period by involving them in decision-making and allowing them control over their circumstances.

Provide emotional support

It is essential to provide your child with emotional support during this time. Listen to their concerns and offer understanding and reassurance that the situation is not their fault and that they will be taken care of. Allow them to talk about their feelings openly without judgment or criticism. Reassure them that you still love them, no matter what happens in the divorce process.

Maintain a sense of normalcy

Try to keep things consistent for your kids during and after the divorce as much as possible. If feasible, ensure they can access activities such as sports and hobbies or other extracurricular activities they enjoy. It provides a sense of stability during an otherwise chaotic period.

Encourage open communication

It is essential to remain communicative with your child, particularly if they have questions or concerns about the divorce process. Please encourage them to talk openly and honestly about their feelings and provide a safe space to express themselves without fear of retribution or criticism. If needed, seek professional help from a qualified mental health provider who can help facilitate calm and constructive conversations between you and your children about the divorce process.

Remain civil with your former partner

Your kids may still be close to their other parents, and it will be difficult for them if you have tension during this stressful time. Therefore, try to maintain a sense of civility when discussing matters related to the divorce with your former partner. Avoid arguing in front of your children and refrain from speaking evil of the other parent, as this can damage their self-esteem.

Create a new support system

It is essential to recognize that you won’t always have all the answers for how best to help your child cope with their feelings during a divorce. Therefore, building a solid network of support for yourself and your kids is essential, which could include family members or close friends who can provide emotional assistance or advice on dealing with the changes caused by divorce. It might also involve seeking professional help from qualified mental health professionals such as therapists, counselors, or social workers.

Be aware of the risks and downsides of divorce

Divorce can bring about a variety of risks and downsides for both parties involved. It can cause significant financial strain, often leaving one or both partners worse off financially than before the divorce was initiated, which is particularly true if one partner abuses the other financially during the marriage.

Financial abuse in divorce typically involves a partner using their power in the marriage to control their spouse’s access to money or property. Examples of financial abuse in marriage include denying access to joint accounts, refusing to pay spousal support, or attempting to hide assets from the other spouse during asset division. In addition, it could involve pressuring a partner into signing an unfair settlement agreement or taking out loans in a partner’s name without their knowledge or consent.

The financial repercussions of divorce can be devastating if one spouse has been subjected to financial abuse by their former partner. This may include significant personal debt due to being denied access to joint accounts, loss of retirement savings due to delays in finalizing an asset division, or even having credit destroyed due to identity theft or fraud committed by their former spouse.

Furthermore, the emotional risks associated with divorce can be detrimental for children and adults alike. Children often struggle with feelings such as guilt and insecurity related to the breakup of the family unit. At the same time, adults may feel loneliness, anxiety, depression, and anger due to the sudden changes brought about by divorce. These emotional issues should not be overlooked when discussing potential risks associated with divorce proceedings.

Finally, there is also a risk that couples will enter into battle over certain aspects of their separation instead of working together toward an amicable resolution. This type of adversarial approach can be costly financially as well as emotionally draining for everyone involved.

The bottom line

Divorce is a complex process for all involved, but your kids can get through this challenging period with the right support system and coping strategies. By following these tips, you can help them to adjust to their new reality and learn from the experience. With love, patience, and understanding, you can ensure your children have all the tools they need to cope with divorce as best as possible.

Heather Brummett

I am Heather Brummett . I'm just a real mom, sharing my real life experiences with the world. Thank you for being a part of my world. Here you will find recipes, crafts, fun ideas for the kids, how to work at home, encouragement, inspiration, and the latest news in and around Houston. To be featured or for information on freelance work contact me at [email protected].

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