Emotional abuse is a very stressful situation for those affected. The dangerous thing: mostly it takes place in secret. Sometimes however, the abuse can be physical. In that case, you need to seek immediate advice. You should consider looking at legal help, such as Takakjian & Sitkoff, LLP for example. It is often difficult for victims of emotional abuse to face the thought that this is what their partner might actually do to them. And close friends and family often do not notice anything either – because emotional abuse usually happens when others are not there. So there is usually no “outside perspective” that could help those affected to actually recognize emotional abuse as such and to draw appropriate conclusions from it. Do you currently suspect that your partner or someone close to you is emotionally abusing your partner? There are a few signs that at least indicate the possibility of emotional abuse which you should be aware of:
1. Compulsive controlling
Sure, some people are more jealous than others. But at the latest when jealousy turns into compulsive control, you should pay attention. A person who abuses the other emotionally usually always wants to know where their partner is, who they are with and for how long. Often it is not enough: the cell phone, contacts and activities in social networks, the computer – everything is monitored. Finally, the other person is told what he/she is allowed to do and what is not. The aim is to get the partner to give up their independence completely.
Isolated people without support and relationships with others are easier to control and therefore suitable victims. As a result, a person who commits emotional abuse tends to force the victim into isolation. Relationships with family, friends and acquaintances are prevented. If your partner forces you to break off all contact with others, this is a clear warning signal!
Negative feelings such as shame or shame have a negative effect on our self-esteem. Emotionally abusing people use such feelings to make their partner compliant. A person who feels shame, for example because he or she is not strong enough to rebel against the aggressive and manipulative behavior of the partner, but allows everything to go through, rarely turns to third parties in order not to reveal themselves. In this way, the abuse remains undetected for longer.
4. Blaming their victims
Perpetrators blame victims for every problem, every mishap or every argument. Even when the perpetrator is responsible, they lie or twist facts to make it appear that they are the victim, not the culprit.
5. Denial of affection
Probably everyone has been so hurt at some point that they could not express sincerely loving feelings towards their partner. Denial of affection in this situation is often a kind of self-protection, but above all not a calculating act. For people who commit emotional abuse, however, deprivation of love becomes normal. In this way they punish and weaken their partners in full awareness of their actions.